You may remember from my last post that we were not clear on whether agencies were able to submit their documents to Russia yet, or if Russia wasn't accepting applications. I talked to our agency and learned that when they told me our agency's documents had been "submitted" they were relying on a faulty translation from their Russian office -- what actually occurred was that they had brought their documents to the Russian Ministry of Education, where they are eventually going to be submitted, and got information/corrections for putting together their packets.
But this doesn't sound like good news - it just confirmed that Russia was not yet accepting documents. I went for a couple of days trying to come to terms with the expectation that Russia would probably not accept applications until after their holiday break. After all, they are obligated to decide on the applications within 3 months of submission, and since they'll be on vacation for almost a month they might not want to start accepting submissions until they return to work in late January.
Praise God, I was wrong!! The Russian government issued a letter yesterday that finalized the documentation requirements for agencies applying for reaccreditation (include # of photocopies, etc.) and declaring that they would officially start receiving applications on December 20. THAT'S TODAY! I talked with our agency director and he expects our representatives in Russia to submit right away, since they had already made revisions and corrections based on their discussions with the Russian government. Though I don't know if they submitted today, it should be soon. At that point, the 3 month countdown begins!
Yes, 3 months is a long time...but if we're able to travel soon after reaccreditation (say, within a month or so) we may still get our first trip in the late spring. And it's possible they will issue the reaccreditations within less than 3 months. But I suppose I shouldn't start having wild dreams here :)
This is something to be thankful for - a reminder that while things are slow, they are not completely stalled.
We'll be up north for Christmas and New Year's, so I probably won't be blogging (unless there is news). Until then, Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Christmas time is here
I just realized it has been a full month since I posted. As usual, you all know what that means....pretty much, nothing is happening with the adoption. Our agency has told us that their accreditation paperwork has been submitted. Meanwhile, some other prospective adopters on the adoption message boards have been told by their agencies that the Russian government isn't actually accepting the applications yet. Everyone seems confused these days.
At least we will not have to wonder what's happening during late December through mid-January, since the entire Russian government will be on vacation for the holidays. Ugh.
It is still possible that we will be traveling when we had hoped -- in March for the first trip -- but that possibility becomes more distant if our agency remains unaccredited through the holidays. I suppose we just need to be patient.
How am I doing? I'm in a strange array of moods in any given week. If I think too much about this child of ours in a crib in Russia, it is unbelievably depressing to think that we can do nothing to help care for him or her. We have the time, money, and willingness to do something, and yet we can't. Can you imagine how different his or her Christmas would be if he or she were home with us?
But this is too much to take. So usually, for better or worse, I try not to dwell on this and try to separate myself from the situation. There is nothing we can do. When people ask about how things are going, I sometimes explain the whole situation, but more often I have heard myself be a bit short with people: "We just don't know. We hope for Spring, but we really have no idea." I cannot get my heart set on a certain plan, because we just don't have control. So I think, to some people, I appear less excited about the adoption than I should be. I'm not bubbling over with the joy of this plan right now. I am just getting through this hard part.
This weird range of emotions has me in a strange place with little kids and babies too. Sometimes I love to be around them and to think about our future little one - today was one of those days. The little kids sang in church and I thought about how ours would be joining them in the next year or two. How cute! And I saw a dad with his little guy hanging on his back - maybe 3 years old - at the airport this weekend, and it gave me a warm glow when I thought of Rob and our kid. (No, economists, I'm not using the technical "warm glow" terminology here). But other times I'd rather not be reminded of what's missing right now!
Now, I said earlier that there is nothing we can do. That's not quite right, I guess. We can continue offering this situation to God, calling on him to take action on behalf of our child and us. I am running out of steam on this, so I would appreciate help from those of you who are willing to be part of this effort. It has been so encouraging to get comments from some of you who have been lurking (especially the old Madison crowd! Wow! ). I'll try to email you guys individually sometime soon - I greatly appreciate your patience until then :)
I'll post again whenever there is news...but assuming nothing big will happen before Christmas, let me wish you all the joy and peace of Christ this season. We will be with family, first in MN and then in Canada, and we look forward to celebrating with them.
Merry Christmas!
Sarah
At least we will not have to wonder what's happening during late December through mid-January, since the entire Russian government will be on vacation for the holidays. Ugh.
It is still possible that we will be traveling when we had hoped -- in March for the first trip -- but that possibility becomes more distant if our agency remains unaccredited through the holidays. I suppose we just need to be patient.
How am I doing? I'm in a strange array of moods in any given week. If I think too much about this child of ours in a crib in Russia, it is unbelievably depressing to think that we can do nothing to help care for him or her. We have the time, money, and willingness to do something, and yet we can't. Can you imagine how different his or her Christmas would be if he or she were home with us?
But this is too much to take. So usually, for better or worse, I try not to dwell on this and try to separate myself from the situation. There is nothing we can do. When people ask about how things are going, I sometimes explain the whole situation, but more often I have heard myself be a bit short with people: "We just don't know. We hope for Spring, but we really have no idea." I cannot get my heart set on a certain plan, because we just don't have control. So I think, to some people, I appear less excited about the adoption than I should be. I'm not bubbling over with the joy of this plan right now. I am just getting through this hard part.
This weird range of emotions has me in a strange place with little kids and babies too. Sometimes I love to be around them and to think about our future little one - today was one of those days. The little kids sang in church and I thought about how ours would be joining them in the next year or two. How cute! And I saw a dad with his little guy hanging on his back - maybe 3 years old - at the airport this weekend, and it gave me a warm glow when I thought of Rob and our kid. (No, economists, I'm not using the technical "warm glow" terminology here). But other times I'd rather not be reminded of what's missing right now!
Now, I said earlier that there is nothing we can do. That's not quite right, I guess. We can continue offering this situation to God, calling on him to take action on behalf of our child and us. I am running out of steam on this, so I would appreciate help from those of you who are willing to be part of this effort. It has been so encouraging to get comments from some of you who have been lurking (especially the old Madison crowd! Wow! ). I'll try to email you guys individually sometime soon - I greatly appreciate your patience until then :)
I'll post again whenever there is news...but assuming nothing big will happen before Christmas, let me wish you all the joy and peace of Christ this season. We will be with family, first in MN and then in Canada, and we look forward to celebrating with them.
Merry Christmas!
Sarah
Friday, November 10, 2006
Russian government creeps toward reaccreditation
Some excellent news came out of Russia this week for pre-adoptive parents like us!
The Russian government has issued its new set of reaccreditation requirements. They needed a new set because the old requirements were (apparently) inconsistent with some aspects of the NGO registration laws that slowed things down from about April to September. These requirements have been expected to come out "any time now" for at least 3-4 months. Finally some progress!
Practically speaking, this means that our agency and others now know WHAT forms they need to submit to get reaccredited. The new rules also have one great feature: accreditations will last for at least 5 years instead of being subject to annual renewals. This will make life much easier for those adopting from Russia in future years (who knows, maybe us again?).
No one knows how long it will take for Russia to actually process the reaccreditations, though the law does say that they must give adoption agencies a "yes" or "no" within three months of their application. I cannot begin to express how glad I am that we are not still in that "any day now" mode...the prospect of up to 3 months more of that feeling would be overwhelming.
We have confirmed our plans again with our caseworker - that whenever it is that our agency is reaccredited, she will not submit our paperwork yet but will first contact us to discuss the timing. We hope to travel in March, which would probably mean submitting paperwork in February and not before. However, even with the new "progress" on accreditation laws this week, it sounds like there is still some waiting to do...so it may be that our first opportunity to submit isn't until February anyway. I cannot even fathom the irony if that were to happen! It would sure be a lesson in learning to trust God's plans.
The Russian government has issued its new set of reaccreditation requirements. They needed a new set because the old requirements were (apparently) inconsistent with some aspects of the NGO registration laws that slowed things down from about April to September. These requirements have been expected to come out "any time now" for at least 3-4 months. Finally some progress!
Practically speaking, this means that our agency and others now know WHAT forms they need to submit to get reaccredited. The new rules also have one great feature: accreditations will last for at least 5 years instead of being subject to annual renewals. This will make life much easier for those adopting from Russia in future years (who knows, maybe us again?).
No one knows how long it will take for Russia to actually process the reaccreditations, though the law does say that they must give adoption agencies a "yes" or "no" within three months of their application. I cannot begin to express how glad I am that we are not still in that "any day now" mode...the prospect of up to 3 months more of that feeling would be overwhelming.
We have confirmed our plans again with our caseworker - that whenever it is that our agency is reaccredited, she will not submit our paperwork yet but will first contact us to discuss the timing. We hope to travel in March, which would probably mean submitting paperwork in February and not before. However, even with the new "progress" on accreditation laws this week, it sounds like there is still some waiting to do...so it may be that our first opportunity to submit isn't until February anyway. I cannot even fathom the irony if that were to happen! It would sure be a lesson in learning to trust God's plans.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The Fall is Flying By!
It's been a few weeks since I posted something, so I thought it was about time for a new one.
There is no news from Russia, but happily this is only something I check on a couple of times a week, instead of every day. Still no agencies have been reaccredited. If we were still planning to travel ASAP, I can't imagine how stressed I would be right now. Rob's idea of delaying our first trip until the spring was definitely the right thing to do. I have been more productive at work, more enthusiastic about the conferences I'll be attending (rather than worried that I might have to cancel at the last minute to leave for Russia), and a much less stressed-out person.
This month I am presenting in two conferences: one in Madison (my grad school hometown) and one in Charleston, SC (Rob might come with me for that one). They should both be productive and also great fun - I am planning to connect with friends at both conferences for meals, etc. As if that weren't enough travel for one month, we also decided to go ahead and plan something crazy and exciting for this time before the baby arrives: for Thanksgiving, both Rob's and my parents are joining us in Florida for a 4-day cruise!!! I can hardly wait! Most of you know how thrifty (OK, cheap) we are, so this is a real adventure for us. (Of course, we got the tickets for less than half price...but you already knew that....). Our two sets of parents haven't seen each other since our wedding over 6 years ago, so we are excited to all hang out together.
Last weekend, we made a bit of progress on the baby's room - we installed new closet doors. the old ones were completely mirrored. Not only might that scare our poor kid, but I wasn't a big fan either! So we got some nice plain white doors with a very basic design. It looks great!
I'll close up with a reminder to please pray for our little one in Siberia. Earlier this month we were in Canada with Rob's family and got to see some of his cousins who have a 20-month old (Jake) and newborn (Mitchell). It was really wonderful to see them, and especially to meet little Mitchell! But it was a little bittersweet knowing that we can't take care of our own child right now the way these parents (and grandparents, and aunts, and uncles, and cousins) can take care of him. Our child is most likely between the ages of these two cuties, and there are two more kids on that side of the family who are slightly older, so he/she will have lots of cousins to play with.....just can't wait until he/she can actually come home and DO that! Until then, we're praying that our baby is experiencing attentive care from the orphanage staff, enough food to eat, and at least a few hugs along the way. We'd sure like to send some!
There is no news from Russia, but happily this is only something I check on a couple of times a week, instead of every day. Still no agencies have been reaccredited. If we were still planning to travel ASAP, I can't imagine how stressed I would be right now. Rob's idea of delaying our first trip until the spring was definitely the right thing to do. I have been more productive at work, more enthusiastic about the conferences I'll be attending (rather than worried that I might have to cancel at the last minute to leave for Russia), and a much less stressed-out person.
This month I am presenting in two conferences: one in Madison (my grad school hometown) and one in Charleston, SC (Rob might come with me for that one). They should both be productive and also great fun - I am planning to connect with friends at both conferences for meals, etc. As if that weren't enough travel for one month, we also decided to go ahead and plan something crazy and exciting for this time before the baby arrives: for Thanksgiving, both Rob's and my parents are joining us in Florida for a 4-day cruise!!! I can hardly wait! Most of you know how thrifty (OK, cheap) we are, so this is a real adventure for us. (Of course, we got the tickets for less than half price...but you already knew that....). Our two sets of parents haven't seen each other since our wedding over 6 years ago, so we are excited to all hang out together.
Last weekend, we made a bit of progress on the baby's room - we installed new closet doors. the old ones were completely mirrored. Not only might that scare our poor kid, but I wasn't a big fan either! So we got some nice plain white doors with a very basic design. It looks great!
I'll close up with a reminder to please pray for our little one in Siberia. Earlier this month we were in Canada with Rob's family and got to see some of his cousins who have a 20-month old (Jake) and newborn (Mitchell). It was really wonderful to see them, and especially to meet little Mitchell! But it was a little bittersweet knowing that we can't take care of our own child right now the way these parents (and grandparents, and aunts, and uncles, and cousins) can take care of him. Our child is most likely between the ages of these two cuties, and there are two more kids on that side of the family who are slightly older, so he/she will have lots of cousins to play with.....just can't wait until he/she can actually come home and DO that! Until then, we're praying that our baby is experiencing attentive care from the orphanage staff, enough food to eat, and at least a few hugs along the way. We'd sure like to send some!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
There is Finally a Plan
It has been a rough couple of weeks trying to figure out whether we should keep waiting with our agency or switch to another where things are moving forward.
Over the weekend, we had decided to switch...but then some feedback from our current agency gave us some hope that things might begin moving before too long. Meanwhile, the new agency that we really liked had some hoops we needed to jump through in terms of some new paperwork, a 2-hour interview, and an educational requirement (involving reading books/watching videos on adoption). We sent them a preliminary application but were still unsure.
The decision we made today - to stay with our agency - actually rests on Rob's very thoughtful but persistent suggestion of an idea I initially did not like. He pointed out that with the new agency, our best case scenario would be bringing home a child in January (maybe February). At that point, I would have needed others to cover my classes for the trip and I would be returning to the work of teaching my two classes immediately upon our return. I’d also have a toddler running around (or at least learning to walk) who is confused and can’t understand most of what I say to him/her – and it is really important to be proactive about “attachment” when adopting a child at this age. Though Rob would also stay home part time, I think he realized that he'd have two people to take care of: a new child and a frazzled wife. He suggested that it might be in the best interest of all of us - especially the child - if we could delay by a few months and bring our child home early in the summer. I will not have any work responsibilities until Fall, so could concentrate on bonding with our little one and visiting family. Ironically, this was exactly the plan when we first started (to bring home our child in the summer). So we asked our current agency whether we could intentionally hold back our paperwork in order to do our first trip in the Spring, even if they become reaccredited before that. They said we could certainly do that.
So then we just had to decide whether we wanted to do this. My initial reaction was "I want a baby YESTERDAY! I'd be nuts to wait longer than I have to". Later on, I started doing the math....the difference will just be a few months compared to starting with the new agency, and the costs of starting over are high. And then a couple of people independently suggested this option, not knowing that we were considering it. You know, it made sense. Rob is a smart guy. One thing I love about this idea is that we have some control over timing, so we don't need to worry whether our agency gets reaccredited this month or next month or even the month after. (There are agencies who have met with the Russian officials about the delays, and it sounds like they are gradually getting things resolved -- so we really don't expect our agency to remain unaccredited into next year.) My daily following of all the Russian adoption news can fall back to a calm, weekly check on what's going on. We will leave our paperwork where it is, in Russia with our facilitator, and it will be up to us to decide when we want it submitted -- travel dates are usually given within weeks of submission. We will still likely travel without having been assigned a specific child in advance.
Phew! Sorry for the long entry. It's been an eventful time for us. But it will now be followed by some peace about this and no frenzied switch or hyperactive websurfing for Russian news. I'm hoping we can even do a little vacation at some point over the next 6 months before life changes drastically :)
Over the weekend, we had decided to switch...but then some feedback from our current agency gave us some hope that things might begin moving before too long. Meanwhile, the new agency that we really liked had some hoops we needed to jump through in terms of some new paperwork, a 2-hour interview, and an educational requirement (involving reading books/watching videos on adoption). We sent them a preliminary application but were still unsure.
The decision we made today - to stay with our agency - actually rests on Rob's very thoughtful but persistent suggestion of an idea I initially did not like. He pointed out that with the new agency, our best case scenario would be bringing home a child in January (maybe February). At that point, I would have needed others to cover my classes for the trip and I would be returning to the work of teaching my two classes immediately upon our return. I’d also have a toddler running around (or at least learning to walk) who is confused and can’t understand most of what I say to him/her – and it is really important to be proactive about “attachment” when adopting a child at this age. Though Rob would also stay home part time, I think he realized that he'd have two people to take care of: a new child and a frazzled wife. He suggested that it might be in the best interest of all of us - especially the child - if we could delay by a few months and bring our child home early in the summer. I will not have any work responsibilities until Fall, so could concentrate on bonding with our little one and visiting family. Ironically, this was exactly the plan when we first started (to bring home our child in the summer). So we asked our current agency whether we could intentionally hold back our paperwork in order to do our first trip in the Spring, even if they become reaccredited before that. They said we could certainly do that.
So then we just had to decide whether we wanted to do this. My initial reaction was "I want a baby YESTERDAY! I'd be nuts to wait longer than I have to". Later on, I started doing the math....the difference will just be a few months compared to starting with the new agency, and the costs of starting over are high. And then a couple of people independently suggested this option, not knowing that we were considering it. You know, it made sense. Rob is a smart guy. One thing I love about this idea is that we have some control over timing, so we don't need to worry whether our agency gets reaccredited this month or next month or even the month after. (There are agencies who have met with the Russian officials about the delays, and it sounds like they are gradually getting things resolved -- so we really don't expect our agency to remain unaccredited into next year.) My daily following of all the Russian adoption news can fall back to a calm, weekly check on what's going on. We will leave our paperwork where it is, in Russia with our facilitator, and it will be up to us to decide when we want it submitted -- travel dates are usually given within weeks of submission. We will still likely travel without having been assigned a specific child in advance.
Phew! Sorry for the long entry. It's been an eventful time for us. But it will now be followed by some peace about this and no frenzied switch or hyperactive websurfing for Russian news. I'm hoping we can even do a little vacation at some point over the next 6 months before life changes drastically :)
Friday, September 22, 2006
Ok...so that excitement has worn off now
I was reading my last entry and it sure doesn't reflect where things seem to be now.
What has become clear is that even those agencies who have had NGO status since JULY have still not been reaccreditted. Absolutely no agency has been reaccredited since the NGO legislation initially went into effect at the end of April. There has now been a report from one agency, to their clients, that two officials in the Russian Ministry of Education have resigned, and their signatures were needed for accreditations to be granted. If it is true, we must wait for these people to be replaced before anything new can happen.
There are a few agencies that were reaccredited last March and April, before the NGO rules were passed, who are still operating smoothly because their licenses are good until next March/April. A couple have gotten NGO status as well, so there are no delays with them at this point. We need to think and pray hard about this. Forms would need to be redone, money would be lost, and the process would still be unpredictable. However, if we could travel during this semester (while I am not teaching) it would be so much better than if we had to wait until Spring and I ended up having to recruit help to cover my two courses. I know I would get the help - my department is so fantastically supportive of all this! - but it would just make more sense for this to happen NOW!!! (Plus, as you may have noticed, I am ready to be a mom and am tired of waiting!)
Thanks so much for listening and hanging in there with us.
What has become clear is that even those agencies who have had NGO status since JULY have still not been reaccreditted. Absolutely no agency has been reaccredited since the NGO legislation initially went into effect at the end of April. There has now been a report from one agency, to their clients, that two officials in the Russian Ministry of Education have resigned, and their signatures were needed for accreditations to be granted. If it is true, we must wait for these people to be replaced before anything new can happen.
There are a few agencies that were reaccredited last March and April, before the NGO rules were passed, who are still operating smoothly because their licenses are good until next March/April. A couple have gotten NGO status as well, so there are no delays with them at this point. We need to think and pray hard about this. Forms would need to be redone, money would be lost, and the process would still be unpredictable. However, if we could travel during this semester (while I am not teaching) it would be so much better than if we had to wait until Spring and I ended up having to recruit help to cover my two courses. I know I would get the help - my department is so fantastically supportive of all this! - but it would just make more sense for this to happen NOW!!! (Plus, as you may have noticed, I am ready to be a mom and am tired of waiting!)
Thanks so much for listening and hanging in there with us.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Successful Jump through Hoop # 1 !!!
We just learned today that our agency has been granted NGO status by the Russian government. Woohoo!!!!!
You might ask how this affects our situation. It essentially means that now our agency can actually apply for its reaccreditation (which was not allowed w/o NGO status). It could still be a while -- the online adoption gossip ranges for estimates of "any week now" to maybe not even this calendar year. Our agency has an optimistic timeline, but we will just have to see what happens. In any case, the situation is MUCH better now that the first hoop has been jumped through. Once hoop # 2 is done, we will be on our way to Russia in no time!
We'll keep you posted!
You might ask how this affects our situation. It essentially means that now our agency can actually apply for its reaccreditation (which was not allowed w/o NGO status). It could still be a while -- the online adoption gossip ranges for estimates of "any week now" to maybe not even this calendar year. Our agency has an optimistic timeline, but we will just have to see what happens. In any case, the situation is MUCH better now that the first hoop has been jumped through. Once hoop # 2 is done, we will be on our way to Russia in no time!
We'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Some helpful hints
Talking to lots of family about our adoption reminded me that I had been meaning to provide some general "helpful hints" for people who are asking someone about their adoption. They apply both to our case and to anyone else's, and might help you think about what to ask or say (and what not to ask or say) when you talk to a friend or family member who is adopting. I read some of these elsewhere so they haven't even necessarily come up for me, but I think it's a public service to let people know anyway!
For the record, I haven't been offended by anything anyone has said to me, so if you read this and think you violated some rule, don't worry about it! Just be aware for the people you might encounter in the future. I have had a great time talking with family about our process.
DO: Feel free to ask about the adoption! Some people are hesitant to bring it up, particularly when they know things are stalled and don't want to bring up a source of stress. But it is so good to know that you are thinking about us and praying about the situation!
DON'T: Ask how much it costs financially, unless you are a very close friend or family member (or you want to donate money)! It ends up sounding like we are "buying" a baby. Kind of awkward. There are just a lot of administrative and travel costs to make things happen.
DO: Ask questions about the child (ex. do you know the gender? have you thought about names? do you have a room set up?). These are the things you might ask a person who is pregnant, and since adoptive parents are also "expecting" a child, it makes sense to ask! You also have the chance to ask other questions you wouldn't get to ask a biological parent, such as where the baby is currently living and how old he/she is likely to be when he/she comes home.
DON'T: If you have brought up the issue of money (which I've already said you shouldn't!), do not suggest that adoption is "probably comparable" to the costs of pregnancy and childbirth. Health insurance doesn't cover adoption! However, there is a substantial federal tax credit that helps defray costs, which is helpful.
DO: Encourage adoptive parents to hang in there when things are delayed or moving slowly. They can use the encouragement! Leaving comments on this blog, as some of you are doing, is a great help to me. It's easy to do. If you don't have a special online account, just check the box for "anonymous" when you leave your comment, and be sure to put your name at the end in the text itself, such as "Lots of love, Aunt Jaynie and Uncle Steve"....hint hint :)
DON'T: Compare the open-ended adoption wait to the length of pregnancy (as in, "well, even a pregnancy takes 9 months"). Absent any medical problems, a couple knows, immediately upon learning of their pregnancy, the approximate month their child will arrive. An open-ended wait is a completely different experience with a different kind of stress. Be sensitive to this when talking with someone who is in the waiting stage.
DO: Talk about other things besides the adoption. Life is multifaceted!
DON'T: Suggest that those who have decided to adopt will now become pregnant. It sounds like Murphy's Law, but the fact is it very seldom happens. I found the statistic today -- it's roughly 5-10%. It's surprising to me how many people do in fact know someone for whom this was the case. Maybe it's because those stories are spread more often than the story of a couple who adopts all of their children. But what concerns me more is that it gives the impression that one has "given up" on a first choice and is "settling" for a second choice (but still secretly hoping for that first one). It's almost given as a word of comfort, as if the news of an adoption is bad news and they hope it can be avoided. Of course, people don't mean it that way, but it is hard to hear it any differently. An unexpected bend in the road, created by God himself, should not be characterized this way! We are very excited about what God is doing, even if we cannot always predict how he is going to do it. It is remarkable to think how we will look back and see God's hand in something that has been difficult and confusing and joyful at the same time.
I think the best example of a great reaction to the news of an adoption is the way a friend of mine here in Gainesville reacted. I told her I had some big news. She grabbed my arm and got all excited and said "You're pregnant!". I said "no". She waited. I said "We're adopting a baby!" She picked up right where she had left off, eyes lit up and hugging me and telling me all about how it is going to be a girl because she wants a "niece". She joined in the joy! That's the best thing you can do. A lot of adoptive parents have waited a long time for the excitement of being a parent, and it's worth celebrating that the blessing is on the way. Thanks so much to all of our friends and family who are continuing to wait and celebrate with us!
For the record, I haven't been offended by anything anyone has said to me, so if you read this and think you violated some rule, don't worry about it! Just be aware for the people you might encounter in the future. I have had a great time talking with family about our process.
DO: Feel free to ask about the adoption! Some people are hesitant to bring it up, particularly when they know things are stalled and don't want to bring up a source of stress. But it is so good to know that you are thinking about us and praying about the situation!
DON'T: Ask how much it costs financially, unless you are a very close friend or family member (or you want to donate money)! It ends up sounding like we are "buying" a baby. Kind of awkward. There are just a lot of administrative and travel costs to make things happen.
DO: Ask questions about the child (ex. do you know the gender? have you thought about names? do you have a room set up?). These are the things you might ask a person who is pregnant, and since adoptive parents are also "expecting" a child, it makes sense to ask! You also have the chance to ask other questions you wouldn't get to ask a biological parent, such as where the baby is currently living and how old he/she is likely to be when he/she comes home.
DON'T: If you have brought up the issue of money (which I've already said you shouldn't!), do not suggest that adoption is "probably comparable" to the costs of pregnancy and childbirth. Health insurance doesn't cover adoption! However, there is a substantial federal tax credit that helps defray costs, which is helpful.
DO: Encourage adoptive parents to hang in there when things are delayed or moving slowly. They can use the encouragement! Leaving comments on this blog, as some of you are doing, is a great help to me. It's easy to do. If you don't have a special online account, just check the box for "anonymous" when you leave your comment, and be sure to put your name at the end in the text itself, such as "Lots of love, Aunt Jaynie and Uncle Steve"....hint hint :)
DON'T: Compare the open-ended adoption wait to the length of pregnancy (as in, "well, even a pregnancy takes 9 months"). Absent any medical problems, a couple knows, immediately upon learning of their pregnancy, the approximate month their child will arrive. An open-ended wait is a completely different experience with a different kind of stress. Be sensitive to this when talking with someone who is in the waiting stage.
DO: Talk about other things besides the adoption. Life is multifaceted!
DON'T: Suggest that those who have decided to adopt will now become pregnant. It sounds like Murphy's Law, but the fact is it very seldom happens. I found the statistic today -- it's roughly 5-10%. It's surprising to me how many people do in fact know someone for whom this was the case. Maybe it's because those stories are spread more often than the story of a couple who adopts all of their children. But what concerns me more is that it gives the impression that one has "given up" on a first choice and is "settling" for a second choice (but still secretly hoping for that first one). It's almost given as a word of comfort, as if the news of an adoption is bad news and they hope it can be avoided. Of course, people don't mean it that way, but it is hard to hear it any differently. An unexpected bend in the road, created by God himself, should not be characterized this way! We are very excited about what God is doing, even if we cannot always predict how he is going to do it. It is remarkable to think how we will look back and see God's hand in something that has been difficult and confusing and joyful at the same time.
I think the best example of a great reaction to the news of an adoption is the way a friend of mine here in Gainesville reacted. I told her I had some big news. She grabbed my arm and got all excited and said "You're pregnant!". I said "no". She waited. I said "We're adopting a baby!" She picked up right where she had left off, eyes lit up and hugging me and telling me all about how it is going to be a girl because she wants a "niece". She joined in the joy! That's the best thing you can do. A lot of adoptive parents have waited a long time for the excitement of being a parent, and it's worth celebrating that the blessing is on the way. Thanks so much to all of our friends and family who are continuing to wait and celebrate with us!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Just so you don't think I've forgotten about the blog...
We have no news about the adoption. However, there are now several agencies (maybe 6 or so) that have obtained their NGO status. I don't know where our agency is in the queue, but in any case our agency's estimate of early September for getting NGO may be fairly reasonable. No one knows yet how long it will take to be reaccredited after that. Some thing it will just be a month, others have said sometime in the fall, and still others that the reaccreditations may not be complete even by the end of this year. It is all speculation at this point.
Please keep praying for this situation.
In lighter news, we've been on vacation in Canada all week, and I spent the last 4 days without e-mail (or running water or a real toilet). It was a blessing!
Please keep praying for this situation.
In lighter news, we've been on vacation in Canada all week, and I spent the last 4 days without e-mail (or running water or a real toilet). It was a blessing!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Slogging right along
I keep waiting for something newsworthy to post, but there isn't a whole lot to say. There is one piece of GOOD news, and that is that one agency has obtained NGO status and the others supposedly learned how to do so at the July 26 meeting. Our agency is guessing early September for the NGO status.
So why am I not more enthusiastic? At this point, it appears that the reaccreditation that was supposed to follow soon after the NGO registration may not be as soon as we had hoped. Let me be clear that we just don't know: it might be, or it might not be. Why? It appears that because of the new NGO law, Russia has realized that they need to make adjustments to their current accreditation law. (For those interested in the politics, the NGO registration is administered by the Ministry of Justice and the agency accreditation is administered by the Ministry of Education). We had initially thought that these two things would be independent. However, it is possible that Russia will delay reaccreditations until they have got the new law passed and a new procedure in place. Or they might NOT delay those who are waiting. We don't know. The silver lining is that the new law is supposed to make the accreditations have a longer term - instead of one year at a time - and to make the process smoother in the future. (Forgive me if I'm not jumping up and down yet).
Our pastor made an analogy in church yesterday that helped me realize that I needed to handle this situation differently. He told us that he has a person from Microsoft coming to look at his computer. He is hoping to get some things fixed by this person, but is insistent that some things must not be touched: namely, his access to iTunes and his Google. These are off limits to the Microsoft guy; he is a consultant only. Jesus, however, is not a consultant. We don't get to hang onto things (my personal favorite being control or the illusion of control). We need to trust him with all of it. Now if you asked me if I trust Jesus with this adoption, I would say "yes". But if you looked at my life of researching these issues, worrying, and obsessing, you would see that it couldn't really be true.
So I am recommitting myself to trust him with this, with his help. Your prayers are appreciated.
So why am I not more enthusiastic? At this point, it appears that the reaccreditation that was supposed to follow soon after the NGO registration may not be as soon as we had hoped. Let me be clear that we just don't know: it might be, or it might not be. Why? It appears that because of the new NGO law, Russia has realized that they need to make adjustments to their current accreditation law. (For those interested in the politics, the NGO registration is administered by the Ministry of Justice and the agency accreditation is administered by the Ministry of Education). We had initially thought that these two things would be independent. However, it is possible that Russia will delay reaccreditations until they have got the new law passed and a new procedure in place. Or they might NOT delay those who are waiting. We don't know. The silver lining is that the new law is supposed to make the accreditations have a longer term - instead of one year at a time - and to make the process smoother in the future. (Forgive me if I'm not jumping up and down yet).
Our pastor made an analogy in church yesterday that helped me realize that I needed to handle this situation differently. He told us that he has a person from Microsoft coming to look at his computer. He is hoping to get some things fixed by this person, but is insistent that some things must not be touched: namely, his access to iTunes and his Google. These are off limits to the Microsoft guy; he is a consultant only. Jesus, however, is not a consultant. We don't get to hang onto things (my personal favorite being control or the illusion of control). We need to trust him with all of it. Now if you asked me if I trust Jesus with this adoption, I would say "yes". But if you looked at my life of researching these issues, worrying, and obsessing, you would see that it couldn't really be true.
So I am recommitting myself to trust him with this, with his help. Your prayers are appreciated.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Upcoming Meeting
I have been following the saga of adoption agencies trying to become registered as NGOs. There is some sense that a few have been told what corrections/additions they needed in order to have their applications approved, which is a good sign. More importantly though, there is now a meeting scheduled for July 26 between a U.S. national adoption organization and a high-up Russian official to try to clarify the situation. This is good news!
PLEASE pray with me that there will be clarification and that many agencies (including ours) will learn exactly what they need to know to get us back on the road again!
PLEASE pray with me that there will be clarification and that many agencies (including ours) will learn exactly what they need to know to get us back on the road again!
Friday, July 07, 2006
The Current State of Things and a Funny Story
I have been in touch with our caseworker to find out more about the current state of things. The situation is as follows: not only does our agency need to be re-accredited, but they (along with ALL other adoption agencies) are also subject to a new law passed in Russia this April. The new law requires adoption agencies and many other kinds of organizations to "register" as non-governmental organizations (NGO's) with the Russian Ministry of Justice by October. This is distinct from becoming "accredited" by the Ministry of Education, which is what they always have to do. Our caseworker said that this is what is holding things up (along with the bureaucrats' vacations). The story is that our agency first needs to get registered as an NGO and then they will be able to reaccredited after that. Our caseworker expects that everything will start moving in August/September. Not sure what this means for us directly, but we are really hoping for a travel date in September.
One thing I have learned from some adoption chat rooms (with some very informed people) is that no agency has yet obtained the NGO registration. The administration is apparently in the midst of being established and there are still bugs in the process, such that the applications that have gone in have been rejected for technical reasons.
There is one good thing about the situation: I had been worried that the accreditation and NGO registration would operate independently, and that somehow we might be allowed to travel upon reaccreditation but then be caught between trips if the NGO registration isn't established by October. Our caseworker assured me that they will only begin trips again when both things are established, so we will not get caught. That was comforting!
Another thing pertaining to the adoption is that we just met two families who recently adopted from Russia. They have told us that, since we did not give a gender preference for our child, we are more likely to get a boy than a girl (sorry Burcin!). Apparently girls are more often specially requested. We are happy with either one, but it's nice to know what to expect (even if only in probability).
Prayer requests:
* for NGO registration to start moving in Russia
* for patience for us as we wait
Now for my funny story.
Rob and I had an all-day date last weekend in Tampa. We were looking for a place to have lunch, and I found that we had two coupons in our Entertainment book, one of which was for a wings/burgers place. We thought it sounded good, so we found it on the map and made our way there. I should have known something was up (I sort of did) when we drove into the parking lot and it was full of pickup trucks. "I wonder if this is more of a 'guy' place?". Hmm.
So we walked in and our hostess asked us whether we'd like to sit inside or outside. We had to look at each other and try to communicate nonverbally about what we should do. Not about where to sit, but about what we should do now that we found ourselves in...you guessed it...an imitation Hooters! I'll just call it "Wing Place". Our lovely Wing Place hostess was in a little low-cut tank top, shorts that were more like a swimsuit bottom, and thick, shiny tights that were among the tackiest things I'd ever seen. Wow. But we decided, hey, we're here, we're hungry, and they have TV's. We can watch World Cup soccer and pretend not to notice the decor or staff :)
The food was actually very good (though as you might guess, we won't be going back!) and our service was also good. Our waitress was exactly like a normal waitress but probably a little chilly in her costume...er...uniform. The most disturbing part of the whole thing was that there were many kids there. There were a pair of dads with each of their sons. There were couples with babies. But most of all, there was a pair of grandparents with their perhaps 8-year-old granddaughter for her BIRTHDAY! The waitresses sang to the girl, and she left holding up the free t-shirt she'd gotten and showing it to her grandma. On the back of the t-shirt, it said "Top 10 Reasons to Eat at Wing Place" and every alternating reason was "The Wing Place Girls". Eeeeeeeeek! They might as well have given her a calendar (which, by the way, they did have).
What does this have to do with adoption? Well, isn't it obvious? We won't be bringing our child to Wing Place!
One thing I have learned from some adoption chat rooms (with some very informed people) is that no agency has yet obtained the NGO registration. The administration is apparently in the midst of being established and there are still bugs in the process, such that the applications that have gone in have been rejected for technical reasons.
There is one good thing about the situation: I had been worried that the accreditation and NGO registration would operate independently, and that somehow we might be allowed to travel upon reaccreditation but then be caught between trips if the NGO registration isn't established by October. Our caseworker assured me that they will only begin trips again when both things are established, so we will not get caught. That was comforting!
Another thing pertaining to the adoption is that we just met two families who recently adopted from Russia. They have told us that, since we did not give a gender preference for our child, we are more likely to get a boy than a girl (sorry Burcin!). Apparently girls are more often specially requested. We are happy with either one, but it's nice to know what to expect (even if only in probability).
Prayer requests:
* for NGO registration to start moving in Russia
* for patience for us as we wait
Now for my funny story.
Rob and I had an all-day date last weekend in Tampa. We were looking for a place to have lunch, and I found that we had two coupons in our Entertainment book, one of which was for a wings/burgers place. We thought it sounded good, so we found it on the map and made our way there. I should have known something was up (I sort of did) when we drove into the parking lot and it was full of pickup trucks. "I wonder if this is more of a 'guy' place?". Hmm.
So we walked in and our hostess asked us whether we'd like to sit inside or outside. We had to look at each other and try to communicate nonverbally about what we should do. Not about where to sit, but about what we should do now that we found ourselves in...you guessed it...an imitation Hooters! I'll just call it "Wing Place". Our lovely Wing Place hostess was in a little low-cut tank top, shorts that were more like a swimsuit bottom, and thick, shiny tights that were among the tackiest things I'd ever seen. Wow. But we decided, hey, we're here, we're hungry, and they have TV's. We can watch World Cup soccer and pretend not to notice the decor or staff :)
The food was actually very good (though as you might guess, we won't be going back!) and our service was also good. Our waitress was exactly like a normal waitress but probably a little chilly in her costume...er...uniform. The most disturbing part of the whole thing was that there were many kids there. There were a pair of dads with each of their sons. There were couples with babies. But most of all, there was a pair of grandparents with their perhaps 8-year-old granddaughter for her BIRTHDAY! The waitresses sang to the girl, and she left holding up the free t-shirt she'd gotten and showing it to her grandma. On the back of the t-shirt, it said "Top 10 Reasons to Eat at Wing Place" and every alternating reason was "The Wing Place Girls". Eeeeeeeeek! They might as well have given her a calendar (which, by the way, they did have).
What does this have to do with adoption? Well, isn't it obvious? We won't be bringing our child to Wing Place!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Locks of Love
A great way to help out little kids is to donate hair -- check out www.locksoflove.org .
The minimum donation is 10 inches, but my hair was so hot and frizzy in the humidity that I couldn't wait any longer, even though the result is rather short hair. I'm happy with it! Some have said it's good "mommy hair" :)
The minimum donation is 10 inches, but my hair was so hot and frizzy in the humidity that I couldn't wait any longer, even though the result is rather short hair. I'm happy with it! Some have said it's good "mommy hair" :)
Thursday, June 15, 2006
No news...but I'm curious about something
You should see the amount of action on the adoption internet bulletin boards these days. Roughly half of all the usually-accredited adoption agencies have lost their accreditation in the last month because the Russian government did not streamline renewals. Many people are stranded between trips and don't know when they'll get to go bring their children home. The answer from all experienced people, and an adoption attorney I talked to, is that we all just have to wait it out. A person could start over with a new agency that is currently accredited, but this wouldn't likely save time (and definitely wouldn't save money!). There are simply no hard and fast timelines with Russian adoptions.
Something I'm curious about is this: everyone I talk to is equally convinced that we will get "the" child that we are supposed to get. Someone pointed out yesterday that this delay almost certainly means that the child we bring home will not be the same one we would have brought home if we had been traveling now. And yet even he was convinced that the child we will be getting is the "right" one.
Let me be clear: I myself believe this, too. But there is a specific basis for this: I believe there is a God who has a plan that will not be thwarted, and who uses even bad things (like bureaucratic delays!) to accomplish his purpose. The prime example of this is how God used a bad thing like the killing of his Son to reconcile us to God.
Many of the people I talk to do not have this view of God. Many don't profess any belief in God at all. I am curious as to why they are convinced that there is a "right" way for things to turn out, and that "what's meant to be will happen." Maybe this is something God teaches all of us, regardless of our interest or belief in him, by his grace.
I am certainly convinced that God has a plan for our child's life, and that we will get the "right" one :) I can't wait for you all to meet this little "right" one.
Something I'm curious about is this: everyone I talk to is equally convinced that we will get "the" child that we are supposed to get. Someone pointed out yesterday that this delay almost certainly means that the child we bring home will not be the same one we would have brought home if we had been traveling now. And yet even he was convinced that the child we will be getting is the "right" one.
Let me be clear: I myself believe this, too. But there is a specific basis for this: I believe there is a God who has a plan that will not be thwarted, and who uses even bad things (like bureaucratic delays!) to accomplish his purpose. The prime example of this is how God used a bad thing like the killing of his Son to reconcile us to God.
Many of the people I talk to do not have this view of God. Many don't profess any belief in God at all. I am curious as to why they are convinced that there is a "right" way for things to turn out, and that "what's meant to be will happen." Maybe this is something God teaches all of us, regardless of our interest or belief in him, by his grace.
I am certainly convinced that God has a plan for our child's life, and that we will get the "right" one :) I can't wait for you all to meet this little "right" one.
Friday, June 09, 2006
An Amusing Story + How I Am Like Angelina Jolie
Well, there's no news on the adoption front. However, I know some of you check this blog regularly and you might be wondering if I stopped using it. So let me re-iterate that whenever there is any news you will hear about it here!
Since there's no news, I'm forced to come up with something else to write - so I have an amusing story, and then a short reflection on adoption.
Amusing story:
I suppose many people, at some time or another, have tried to run up a "down" escalator. Most of the time this is for the challenge of it, or the scene is in some cliche comedy (in which hilarity ensues repeatedly). This week I was in Athens, Greece at a conference. Can you believe this is related? I was headed to the subway in Athens to get myself and my suitcase to the airport. In order to avoid taking up the whole width of the escalator going down to the trains, I decided to pull my suitcase directly behind me instead of slightly to the side. As I got onto the escalator, my suitcase hit a bump and I lost hold of it. Picture my surreal moment as I looked at my suitcase on the ground at the top as the escalator brought me down. (There was no one else there, as I'm sure they would have grabbed it for me). All I could think was "I'm going to lose sight of it, and hopefully it will still be there when I come back up the other escalator." Then I remembered - this was not an elevator. I was not frozen. So I did it - I booked it up the "down" escalator. It was a weird feeling, but I'm happy to say that I made it and rescued my suitcase! I am definitely in training for our future unpredictable adventure traveling in Russia.
Short Reflection:
On the plane yesterday (10 hour flight from Athens to NY) there was some news-type show in which Angelina Jolie was being interviewed about her relief work. I am not usually very interested in celebrities - they are just people who get way too much attention for their work (am I a jealous academic?). I'm even skeptical about the relief work they get involved in. But it was interesting - Angelina was asked about her two adopted children, from Cambodia and Ethiopia. The interviewer wanted to know how she explained the adoption to the kids, especially because she was (at the time of the interview) pregnant. She explained that she said to her little boy (I'm paraphrasing a bit), "You didn't grow inside mommy's belly, but there was a wonderful woman in Cambodia who did that for you and mommy is so thankful for her. She wasn't able to take care of you, and so you were alone, just for a little while, until mommy could bring you home." So there I sat, choked up and wiping my eyes with the airplane blanket, thinking about that "little while" that our little one is experiencing right now without a mommy or daddy. I am so glad that it will only be a little while! And I keep praying that God would help them know they are loved even now.
Hard to believe that Angelina Jolie and I have something in common. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on celebrities.
Since there's no news, I'm forced to come up with something else to write - so I have an amusing story, and then a short reflection on adoption.
Amusing story:
I suppose many people, at some time or another, have tried to run up a "down" escalator. Most of the time this is for the challenge of it, or the scene is in some cliche comedy (in which hilarity ensues repeatedly). This week I was in Athens, Greece at a conference. Can you believe this is related? I was headed to the subway in Athens to get myself and my suitcase to the airport. In order to avoid taking up the whole width of the escalator going down to the trains, I decided to pull my suitcase directly behind me instead of slightly to the side. As I got onto the escalator, my suitcase hit a bump and I lost hold of it. Picture my surreal moment as I looked at my suitcase on the ground at the top as the escalator brought me down. (There was no one else there, as I'm sure they would have grabbed it for me). All I could think was "I'm going to lose sight of it, and hopefully it will still be there when I come back up the other escalator." Then I remembered - this was not an elevator. I was not frozen. So I did it - I booked it up the "down" escalator. It was a weird feeling, but I'm happy to say that I made it and rescued my suitcase! I am definitely in training for our future unpredictable adventure traveling in Russia.
Short Reflection:
On the plane yesterday (10 hour flight from Athens to NY) there was some news-type show in which Angelina Jolie was being interviewed about her relief work. I am not usually very interested in celebrities - they are just people who get way too much attention for their work (am I a jealous academic?). I'm even skeptical about the relief work they get involved in. But it was interesting - Angelina was asked about her two adopted children, from Cambodia and Ethiopia. The interviewer wanted to know how she explained the adoption to the kids, especially because she was (at the time of the interview) pregnant. She explained that she said to her little boy (I'm paraphrasing a bit), "You didn't grow inside mommy's belly, but there was a wonderful woman in Cambodia who did that for you and mommy is so thankful for her. She wasn't able to take care of you, and so you were alone, just for a little while, until mommy could bring you home." So there I sat, choked up and wiping my eyes with the airplane blanket, thinking about that "little while" that our little one is experiencing right now without a mommy or daddy. I am so glad that it will only be a little while! And I keep praying that God would help them know they are loved even now.
Hard to believe that Angelina Jolie and I have something in common. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on celebrities.
Monday, May 22, 2006
The first bump in the road - it's a doozy
No more can I say "Yay for bureaucracy."
We've just learned that while our agency had hoped to get us on the road to Russia in the next few weeks, it is not going to happen. This is a disappointment, though it is one of the most common types of delays.
As with most American agencies, ours needs to be re-accredited every year by the Russian government around this time (our agency's expiration date is June 6). While this used to be a formality and create no delays, there were some serious child abuse cases last year regarding Russia adoptive children. These have made the government much more cautious about automatic renewals. This means our agency and all the others will likely take some time to be re-accredited.
Because the Russian government almost shuts down over the summer due to to the bureaucrats' vacations, our agency's best guess is that new travel dates won't be established until at least August. This means the earliest we might likely come home with the baby after a second trip would be around October or November. Please pray with us that we will have a baby home by Christmas!
We will keep you updated, though there won't likely be much news for a while now. Thanks for following our story and keep in touch.
Sarah (& Rob)
We've just learned that while our agency had hoped to get us on the road to Russia in the next few weeks, it is not going to happen. This is a disappointment, though it is one of the most common types of delays.
As with most American agencies, ours needs to be re-accredited every year by the Russian government around this time (our agency's expiration date is June 6). While this used to be a formality and create no delays, there were some serious child abuse cases last year regarding Russia adoptive children. These have made the government much more cautious about automatic renewals. This means our agency and all the others will likely take some time to be re-accredited.
Because the Russian government almost shuts down over the summer due to to the bureaucrats' vacations, our agency's best guess is that new travel dates won't be established until at least August. This means the earliest we might likely come home with the baby after a second trip would be around October or November. Please pray with us that we will have a baby home by Christmas!
We will keep you updated, though there won't likely be much news for a while now. Thanks for following our story and keep in touch.
Sarah (& Rob)
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The time is near....
I got an email from our caseworker today. She said she had talked to our agency's associate in Siberia and the associate had told her that our travel date would likely be selected within a week! Typically, when they inform us of the travel date, it is about 2 weeks away. This means there's a chance we will actually be traveling by the end of May!
We'll keep you updated.
Sarah
We'll keep you updated.
Sarah
Monday, May 01, 2006
An Early Baby Shower!
While we are waiting for our invitation to travel (hopefully coming in the next few weeks!) our dear friend Burcin and roomie Sara Joy decided to throw me a baby shower!
It was a great mix of friends from my department and church. The guests had to be creative, since we don't know the gender or exact age of our child. I thought I'd post some pictures of my friends and of their clever gifts!
Here are SJ and Burcin getting ready!
It was a great mix of friends from my department and church. The guests had to be creative, since we don't know the gender or exact age of our child. I thought I'd post some pictures of my friends and of their clever gifts!
Here are SJ and Burcin getting ready!
The food was awesome: chocolate fondue and other goodies :) I may also be the only mommy-to-be to be able to drink sangria at my shower!
This food was less delicious, but a fun game (I got second place for correctly identifying unlabeled baby food).
Me and my girls :)
Present time!
I put one of my old dolls on this great snail rocker from Kristine:
Eve got me a beautiful baby scrapbook, and Krista got stickers to go with it...
...along with an adorable cow puppet (right). Mandy got us the finger puppets (left) and Lynne won the prize for the most creative gift with the Philosopher Puppets (middle)!
And Katie gave the gifts most appreciated by Rob!
I couldn't put everything here, but you get the idea. We SO appreciate people's generosity, creativity, and support in this adventure! Thanks for helping bring this whole thing to life day by day as we get ready to go. We'll update the blog as soon as we get our travel dates!
Sarah
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Moving right along....good news from the INS!
We've been assembling some of the stuff for our second set of paperwork, and got two big envelopes in the mail yesterday that were VERY encouraging.
First, we got a pack of a few more apostilled documents back from Tallahassee (which we sent last week - some additional forms our agency wanted from us). We've learned that they have a fairly quick turnaround time by mail (thanks, Jennifer!), so it was much more convenient to send our few documents than to drive to Tallahassee again. We'll probably only drive there once more, when we are carrying particularly important stuff before our second trip.
Second, we got our adoption approval from the INS!! It was just two weeks from fingerprinting to approval - seems like some kind of record! It is a delight to check one more thing off the list. Especially if you're me. I've been known to add things to lists that I have already accomplished, just so I can check them off right from the start. But seriously, there are so many possible ways in which things can be delayed, it is extremely encouraging every time something goes smoothly.
I should also let you all know, in case you are watching the news really closely, that the recent threats to Russian adoption accreditation do not apply to us. There was recently a statement issued by the Russian Deputy Prosecutor General threatening to revoke the accreditation of 12 adoption agencies in Russia. Ours is NOT on the list. (Even if it were, there are often threats being made and it's not clear whether they will go anywhere).
***Please pray for the adoptive parents working with the threatened agencies, that they will not panic, and for a positive resolution to the whole situation.
***Praise God for some new online friends I have made who are adopting through the same agency, and from the same region, as us. I have been following their journeys as they go ahead of us - for example, some people who made their first trip in early February are now on their way home from their second trip with two new kids in tow! Another couple finished their first trip in early March and has been given a court date in mid-May for their second trip. Finally, another couple is on their way out for their first trip in a week. They turned in their dossier about a month before we did....so it is really encouraging and exciting to see things moving along!
I had anticipated writing some reflections, but you'll have to settle for this one: I do not really enjoy grading papers, but I have 35 papers (5-7 pages) to read, written on topics such as Sports Economics, Immigration and Higher Education. I love teaching....but I don't love grading.
That is my reflection.
We'll keep you updated :)
Sarah
First, we got a pack of a few more apostilled documents back from Tallahassee (which we sent last week - some additional forms our agency wanted from us). We've learned that they have a fairly quick turnaround time by mail (thanks, Jennifer!), so it was much more convenient to send our few documents than to drive to Tallahassee again. We'll probably only drive there once more, when we are carrying particularly important stuff before our second trip.
Second, we got our adoption approval from the INS!! It was just two weeks from fingerprinting to approval - seems like some kind of record! It is a delight to check one more thing off the list. Especially if you're me. I've been known to add things to lists that I have already accomplished, just so I can check them off right from the start. But seriously, there are so many possible ways in which things can be delayed, it is extremely encouraging every time something goes smoothly.
I should also let you all know, in case you are watching the news really closely, that the recent threats to Russian adoption accreditation do not apply to us. There was recently a statement issued by the Russian Deputy Prosecutor General threatening to revoke the accreditation of 12 adoption agencies in Russia. Ours is NOT on the list. (Even if it were, there are often threats being made and it's not clear whether they will go anywhere).
***Please pray for the adoptive parents working with the threatened agencies, that they will not panic, and for a positive resolution to the whole situation.
***Praise God for some new online friends I have made who are adopting through the same agency, and from the same region, as us. I have been following their journeys as they go ahead of us - for example, some people who made their first trip in early February are now on their way home from their second trip with two new kids in tow! Another couple finished their first trip in early March and has been given a court date in mid-May for their second trip. Finally, another couple is on their way out for their first trip in a week. They turned in their dossier about a month before we did....so it is really encouraging and exciting to see things moving along!
I had anticipated writing some reflections, but you'll have to settle for this one: I do not really enjoy grading papers, but I have 35 papers (5-7 pages) to read, written on topics such as Sports Economics, Immigration and Higher Education. I love teaching....but I don't love grading.
That is my reflection.
We'll keep you updated :)
Sarah
Friday, April 14, 2006
We are in the pipeline!
Our set of documents (Dossier #1) has begun moving forward! Valerie sent it off yesterday. It first goes to the umbrella agency with which our smaller agency is affiliated, and after approval from them it will make its way over to Omsk! This processing time overall is supposed to be about a month, and then we will hear from them soon after that with an invitation to travel. So don't expect too many new postings in the near future...although we may be able to do a bit more introspection now that the first batch of paperwork is done (don't worry, there will be more!).
Monday, April 10, 2006
I think it's going to be fine...
I talked with Valerie again - this time on the phone (for the first time! we've also just done email). It seems that I misunderstood one aspect of the checklist, so I need to send some additional stuff, but FORTUNATELY I already have it ready to go. (I would explain the misunderstanding, but you'd all agree that my interpretation was very reasonable!). I just need to go make a bunch more copies and send another Express mail out tomorrow. She'll get the package on Wednesday and should be able to start processing it.
I learned something about apostilles today. Even when you have two identical documents apostilled (such as two copies of Rob's green card), each apostille has its own identification number. This means you should not do what we did: for our records, we just photocopied one of each document, not realizing that we should have copies of both because they have different IDs. This, along with the misunderstanding, is the reason we need to make more copies and send some more stuff. Oh well. We're almost there!
I learned something about apostilles today. Even when you have two identical documents apostilled (such as two copies of Rob's green card), each apostille has its own identification number. This means you should not do what we did: for our records, we just photocopied one of each document, not realizing that we should have copies of both because they have different IDs. This, along with the misunderstanding, is the reason we need to make more copies and send some more stuff. Oh well. We're almost there!
A very short update
I just got the news from Valerie that she has received all of our forms and our check. She said she'd be checking everything over tonight, so I will hopefully know tomorrow whether anything needs to be redone. Pray that it doesn't!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Hooray for bureaucracy!
Yesterday was our big day of bureaucracy, and it went remarkable smoothly.
It all began when we left the house around 6:30 a.m. and drove up to Jacksonville (2 hours) to give fingerprints at the INS office (now under "Homeland Security"). I was expecting a big stone building in the downtown area...trying to find parking, dealing with mean immigration officers, etc. Basically, I was expecting the Milwaukee office (we went there a few times for Rob's immigration stuff since he's Canadian). Well, in Jacksonville it is instead a one-story building in a business park, with its own parking lot. It reminded me of Rob's engineering firm in Madison! At the door, we were met by an officer who told us to put basically everything but paperwork back in the car (fine) and then we went in through a metal detector to find a place that looked remarkably like a DMV. They gave us a number and we just waited there, ready to renew our driver's licenses...er...give fingerprints for our adoption application.
While we waited, I noticed two large photos framed on the wall - George W. Bush and Michael Chertoff (the Homeland Security guy). It reminded me of my semester in the Middle East in 1997, where every place in Jordan had a picture of (at the time) King Hussein. I also know that some Catholic places have pictures of the Pope on display. I didn't feel like these guys really measured up, but oh well. Rob was less fascinated by this than I was. He had a Tolkien book with him. Anyway, they called our names and we gave our prints, and that was that! All told, it took maybe 45 minutes. Fantastic! Now we wait for an approval from the INS for our adoption -- we don't need this approval until our second trip to Russia, so there shouldn't be any problem getting it on time.
We then headed over to Tallahassee to the Secretary of State's office where they apostille documents (i.e. verify that the notarizations are legitimate). We were making such good time that we even stopped for a fairly leisurely brunch at the Cracker Barrel. As we got close to Tallahassee, I figured we'd need to head downtown to a big office building, find parking, etc. Can you believe....it was outside the city, in a business park, with its own parking lot! I guess I didn't realize how different bureaucracy is down here -is this a Southern thing? There was no line in the office, and they looked through all our documents - 24 of them - and stapled approvals on them. It took less than half an hour...and a bargain at 10 bucks each (ugh).
We immediately went to a UPS store and made multiple copies of everything (we ended up making about 150 photocopies!) before sending our packet off to Valerie, our adoption agency caseworker. She will receive them all tomorrow. So, do you think we forgot anything? We hope not. But actually, Valerie already figured one thing out....she asked if I remembered to include the first part of the fees to be paid to the Russian government. Ooops! That check will be sent express mail tomorrow!
If everything is on the up and up, our packet will go the umbrella adoption agency with which our agency is affiliated, get approved, and will then go over to the Omsk Department of Education (DOE). This processing should take about a month. Sometime soon after that we should get permission to travel. I just learned today that we probably will NOT get a particular child's picture/info before we go, but that we will arrive and meet someone at the Omsk DOE who will show us information on a particular child they've chosen for us - we can agree to meet the child or ask for a different referral if we have some kind of concern (such as medical issues). Once we meet and confirm our intentions to adopt a particular baby, then the ball starts rolling for the Russian government to organize the adoption - so we will come home babyless to wait, and go back a month or two later when everything is ready.
For all you pray-ers out there:
* pray that our documents are all in order
* pray specifically that the umbrella agency will accept some documents that were signed in black ink, which we've just been told were supposed to be in blue ink (I wish I were kidding - no one had told us about the importance of non-black ink, which helps them know it's not a photocopy). It wouldn't be too bad to do these forms over, since they are among the few that don't require notarization/apostilles, but it would still be a delay.
* pray for my work, as I need to do some catching up from my travel day on Wednesday
* pray that our baby is doing all right in his/her crib right now!
* also, we thank God for some very sweet new friends who (unfortunately) are moving away and (fortunately) have provided us with a crib, rocking chair, and dresser for the baby! How nice to have one less thing to think about (or really, three less things...)
Thanks again for so much support - please feel free to leave comments (you can do so anonymously, without an account, by clicking on any set of comments and then adding your own).
We'll let you know as soon as we have heard more about whether our packet is confirmed to be complete!
Sarah
It all began when we left the house around 6:30 a.m. and drove up to Jacksonville (2 hours) to give fingerprints at the INS office (now under "Homeland Security"). I was expecting a big stone building in the downtown area...trying to find parking, dealing with mean immigration officers, etc. Basically, I was expecting the Milwaukee office (we went there a few times for Rob's immigration stuff since he's Canadian). Well, in Jacksonville it is instead a one-story building in a business park, with its own parking lot. It reminded me of Rob's engineering firm in Madison! At the door, we were met by an officer who told us to put basically everything but paperwork back in the car (fine) and then we went in through a metal detector to find a place that looked remarkably like a DMV. They gave us a number and we just waited there, ready to renew our driver's licenses...er...give fingerprints for our adoption application.
While we waited, I noticed two large photos framed on the wall - George W. Bush and Michael Chertoff (the Homeland Security guy). It reminded me of my semester in the Middle East in 1997, where every place in Jordan had a picture of (at the time) King Hussein. I also know that some Catholic places have pictures of the Pope on display. I didn't feel like these guys really measured up, but oh well. Rob was less fascinated by this than I was. He had a Tolkien book with him. Anyway, they called our names and we gave our prints, and that was that! All told, it took maybe 45 minutes. Fantastic! Now we wait for an approval from the INS for our adoption -- we don't need this approval until our second trip to Russia, so there shouldn't be any problem getting it on time.
We then headed over to Tallahassee to the Secretary of State's office where they apostille documents (i.e. verify that the notarizations are legitimate). We were making such good time that we even stopped for a fairly leisurely brunch at the Cracker Barrel. As we got close to Tallahassee, I figured we'd need to head downtown to a big office building, find parking, etc. Can you believe....it was outside the city, in a business park, with its own parking lot! I guess I didn't realize how different bureaucracy is down here -is this a Southern thing? There was no line in the office, and they looked through all our documents - 24 of them - and stapled approvals on them. It took less than half an hour...and a bargain at 10 bucks each (ugh).
We immediately went to a UPS store and made multiple copies of everything (we ended up making about 150 photocopies!) before sending our packet off to Valerie, our adoption agency caseworker. She will receive them all tomorrow. So, do you think we forgot anything? We hope not. But actually, Valerie already figured one thing out....she asked if I remembered to include the first part of the fees to be paid to the Russian government. Ooops! That check will be sent express mail tomorrow!
If everything is on the up and up, our packet will go the umbrella adoption agency with which our agency is affiliated, get approved, and will then go over to the Omsk Department of Education (DOE). This processing should take about a month. Sometime soon after that we should get permission to travel. I just learned today that we probably will NOT get a particular child's picture/info before we go, but that we will arrive and meet someone at the Omsk DOE who will show us information on a particular child they've chosen for us - we can agree to meet the child or ask for a different referral if we have some kind of concern (such as medical issues). Once we meet and confirm our intentions to adopt a particular baby, then the ball starts rolling for the Russian government to organize the adoption - so we will come home babyless to wait, and go back a month or two later when everything is ready.
For all you pray-ers out there:
* pray that our documents are all in order
* pray specifically that the umbrella agency will accept some documents that were signed in black ink, which we've just been told were supposed to be in blue ink (I wish I were kidding - no one had told us about the importance of non-black ink, which helps them know it's not a photocopy). It wouldn't be too bad to do these forms over, since they are among the few that don't require notarization/apostilles, but it would still be a delay.
* pray for my work, as I need to do some catching up from my travel day on Wednesday
* pray that our baby is doing all right in his/her crib right now!
* also, we thank God for some very sweet new friends who (unfortunately) are moving away and (fortunately) have provided us with a crib, rocking chair, and dresser for the baby! How nice to have one less thing to think about (or really, three less things...)
Thanks again for so much support - please feel free to leave comments (you can do so anonymously, without an account, by clicking on any set of comments and then adding your own).
We'll let you know as soon as we have heard more about whether our packet is confirmed to be complete!
Sarah
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Timeline & a few pictures
Lots of people are curious about the adoption process. Ours involves all the steps of a typical adoption, but will likely take less time because of the agency and region we chose. There are an incredible number of details (probably more than some of you are interested in hearing about!). We've been marking off milestones so far and thought you might be interested in them...occasionally we've included a picture too.
Jan. 6 Registered with our agency to adopt from Siberia, Russia. This agency helps us with all the paperwork and connects us with a child (and a translator!) in Russia. Our caseworker is Valerie, who is from Russia but works here in the U.S. for the adoption agency.
Jan. 25 Spent 5 hours being interviewed for our Home Study (conducted by a local psychologist)
Jan. 26-Feb. 22 Got background checks from the City, State, and FBI; got medical approval from our doctors.
Feb. 22 Received Rob’s birth certificate
Feb. 23 Sent Rob’s passport renewal application (w/ birth certificate)
Feb. 23 Sent packet of background checks & copy of Rob’s birth certificate to the Home Study agency, to finalize their report
Mar. 18 Received final Home Study – we are officially approved! I was so happy that I even took a picture of the envelope.
Mar. 20 Sent I-600A (immigration form) and Home Study to U.S.C.I.S. (Citizenship and Immigration Services, formerly “INS”) in Jacksonville
Mar. 24 Received invitation for fingerprinting from Jacksonville U.S.C.I.S.
Here's me, scraping a wall that had layers of paint and wallpaper.
Rob was sanding the walls. The air was full of dust - you can see it in the picture!
Mar. 29 Received Rob’s new passport
Mar. 30 Got our results from our psychological exams (the MMPI personality test). The official letters state: “Results appear valid and not consistent with any psychopathology.” Phew!
Mar. 31 Got documents notarized at the bank for Dossier # 1 (first of 2 packets of forms). The ladies who work at the bank are so excited!
*** below are the plans for the future and all dates are subject to change! ***
Week of April 2-9 Planning to give our fingerprints at the U.S.C.I.S. (Jacksonville) and to get our notarized documents apostilled (Tallahassee) so that we can submit them to our agency. An "apostille" is a document/seal from the Secretary of State verifying that a notarized document was notarized by a legitimate notary (no, I'm not kidding!).
The following month or two: wait for a referral of a child from our agency
Soon after referral: travel to Russia for a week to meet our child
The following one-three months: get additional documents for Dossier # 2 and wait for a court date from Russia
Soon after court date is announced: travel to Russia to go to court and pick up our child, and stay for at least 10 days (the government’s mandatory waiting period)
Jan. 6 Registered with our agency to adopt from Siberia, Russia. This agency helps us with all the paperwork and connects us with a child (and a translator!) in Russia. Our caseworker is Valerie, who is from Russia but works here in the U.S. for the adoption agency.
Jan. 25 Spent 5 hours being interviewed for our Home Study (conducted by a local psychologist)
Jan. 26-Feb. 22 Got background checks from the City, State, and FBI; got medical approval from our doctors.
Feb. 22 Received Rob’s birth certificate
Feb. 23 Sent Rob’s passport renewal application (w/ birth certificate)
Feb. 23 Sent packet of background checks & copy of Rob’s birth certificate to the Home Study agency, to finalize their report
Mar. 18 Received final Home Study – we are officially approved! I was so happy that I even took a picture of the envelope.
Mar. 20 Sent I-600A (immigration form) and Home Study to U.S.C.I.S. (Citizenship and Immigration Services, formerly “INS”) in Jacksonville
Mar. 24 Received invitation for fingerprinting from Jacksonville U.S.C.I.S.
Mar. 24 Finished redoing the walls in the baby's room, after a couple weeks of scraping/painting with much help from friends!
Here's me, scraping a wall that had layers of paint and wallpaper.
Rob was sanding the walls. The air was full of dust - you can see it in the picture!
This is our housemate, Sara Joy, who is an intern with a campus ministry for the year. We are sad that she'll be moving away this summer - it's been a great time! And as you can see, we put her to work too :)
Here's our good friend Burcin from the Econ department. She came over for two different painting days and we listened to 1980s power ballads - quite memorable!
Mar. 25 Got carpet installed in the baby’s room! Below is our final product. The walls are very light green, with one a shade darker and textured. The carpet is actually a light beige, but the flash on the camera made it look darker. We'll be decorating it with a border of musical notes (pictures to come later).
Mar. 29 Received Rob’s new passport
Mar. 30 Got our results from our psychological exams (the MMPI personality test). The official letters state: “Results appear valid and not consistent with any psychopathology.” Phew!
Mar. 31 Got documents notarized at the bank for Dossier # 1 (first of 2 packets of forms). The ladies who work at the bank are so excited!
*** below are the plans for the future and all dates are subject to change! ***
Week of April 2-9 Planning to give our fingerprints at the U.S.C.I.S. (Jacksonville) and to get our notarized documents apostilled (Tallahassee) so that we can submit them to our agency. An "apostille" is a document/seal from the Secretary of State verifying that a notarized document was notarized by a legitimate notary (no, I'm not kidding!).
The following month or two: wait for a referral of a child from our agency
Soon after referral: travel to Russia for a week to meet our child
The following one-three months: get additional documents for Dossier # 2 and wait for a court date from Russia
Soon after court date is announced: travel to Russia to go to court and pick up our child, and stay for at least 10 days (the government’s mandatory waiting period)
Welcome to our blog! Intro and FAQ
Many of our friends and family have been curious about our upcoming adoption, and we thought this site would be a great way to keep you updated with all of our news and prayer requests.
This first post will be pretty long, to answer lots of the questions we've gotten about our adoption. We'll also be posting a timeline and pictures of our preparations as things move forward. (No, we don't have a picture of the baby yet!)
THE HAMERSMA ADOPTION F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions)
1. Why are you guys adopting a baby?
We have always planned to have children, and we have been praying that God would send a baby our way. While adoption is not the way we initially expected to build our family, we are really excited to see the way God’s plan is unfolding! There is a child out there who belongs with us, and though he or she is still unknown to us, this baby is part of our family. Since I (Sarah) am from a family where adoption isn’t unusual – in fact, my brother is adopted – we’ve seen firsthand the way that families are built on love and commitment, and not simply genetics. It’s becoming more and more clear what a privilege it is to start our family this way!
2. Why are you adopting a baby from Russia?
There are an overabundance of American couples who want to adopt children – far beyond the number of babies given up for adoption each year in the U.S. (this is partly due to the ~ 1,000,000 pregnancies terminated every year here). However, when one looks overseas, the story is exactly the opposite. I found a statistic stating that only one in ten Russian orphans will ever be adopted. Similarly, there are thousands of children in China (mostly girls), Guatemala (mostly boys), Korea, and other countries who are waiting for families. We prayed about this and decided on Russia – the timeline is fast (more on that later) and we could adopt a fairly young child. This is particularly true for the region of Russia we have chosen, which is part of Siberia. We also think it will be very interesting to travel to Russia and experience the culture our child has experienced for his or her early life.
3. How did you select an adoption agency?
We registered on the websites of several agencies to get more information. We became familiar with the basic process and costs, so just needed to figure out the next step. Then one day we received an email from a specific agency (we are asked not to discuss agencies by name on the web) describing the particular need for people to adopt children from parts of Siberia in Russia. The process seems to be more streamlined than some other regions, and the children tend to be healthier than in some other parts of Russia. We looked through the pictures in the email of children who’d recently been adopted, and (of course!) they were so adorable that we were sold! We also like the organization – while they are not officially a Christian organization, the ideas of “having faith” and “being faithful” are prominent in their mission. The online message board for parents like us is full of encouragement from the Bible as we all wind our way through this process. There are so many great Biblical examples of prayerful waiting…and that is what we are trying to do.
4. How old will the baby be?
Babies in Russia are not considered officially “orphans” until they have been in the orphanage system for at least 6 months. Combining this waiting period with bureaucracy, the youngest are usually 12-18 months when they are adopted. The most recent adoption I know of (by a couple working with the same agency as us, adopting from the same region) involves a baby who was 11 months old when the adoptive parents went to meet him, and will be 13-14 months old when they bring him home.
5. When do you go to Russia?
We will need to make two trips to Siberia. On the first trip, we will get to meet the baby that has been selected for us and (prayerfully!) confirm that we want to proceed with adoption of that baby. If for some reason we feel wrong about the particular match that has been made, we will have an opportunity to meet a different child. We will leave (after about a week) knowing the child we will adopt…but we don’t get to bring them home yet. At this point, the adoption enters deeper into the legal system and we wait for a court date, hopefully within one-two months, at which time we will go back and legally adopt our baby in Russia and stay for about two weeks. We hope to make the first trip in May or June, but it will depend upon the speed of bureaucracy in our region in dealing with our application. If we get to go by June, then we would expect to make our second trip by the end of the summer! (However, there are many places in which the process can be delayed so we are trying to be flexible.)
6. Have you been “accepted” to adopt a child?
Yes! We are not waiting to hear whether we will adopt, but simply which child we will adopt. We have been approved through background checks and a careful study of our home life (a 5-hour interview!).
7. Will your child be a U.S. citizen?
Yes. We will need to fill out some paperwork, but they will certainly be a U.S. citizen. Some Canadian friends have also told us that our baby will automatically be a citizen of Canada as well, since Rob is Canadian – hopefully that is the case, since it would great for our child to have dual citizenship. We still need to look into this.
8. Is there a chance you will come back with more than one child?
Not really – all of our documentation is set up for one child only. I am sure it will be hard to leave the rest of the children behind in the orphanage, but realistically it makes sense for us to start our family with just one child, particularly since it is our first child and neither of us plans to stay home full-time. Instead, we plan to stagger our work schedules and get some part-time help with child care in our home. I will be doing a lot of work from home in the Fall semester, as I do not have teaching responsibilities but instead will be focusing on research projects. I will still spend a few days each week at UF and plan to stay fully connected with my work as a professor there. I will be teaching again next Spring. We both love our jobs, and our colleagues have demonstrated a lot of support and flexibility already. We feel so blessed!
We're happy to answer other questions too! We'll be using this blog to keep you updated, answer questions, and reflect on this fascinating experience.
This first post will be pretty long, to answer lots of the questions we've gotten about our adoption. We'll also be posting a timeline and pictures of our preparations as things move forward. (No, we don't have a picture of the baby yet!)
THE HAMERSMA ADOPTION F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions)
1. Why are you guys adopting a baby?
We have always planned to have children, and we have been praying that God would send a baby our way. While adoption is not the way we initially expected to build our family, we are really excited to see the way God’s plan is unfolding! There is a child out there who belongs with us, and though he or she is still unknown to us, this baby is part of our family. Since I (Sarah) am from a family where adoption isn’t unusual – in fact, my brother is adopted – we’ve seen firsthand the way that families are built on love and commitment, and not simply genetics. It’s becoming more and more clear what a privilege it is to start our family this way!
2. Why are you adopting a baby from Russia?
There are an overabundance of American couples who want to adopt children – far beyond the number of babies given up for adoption each year in the U.S. (this is partly due to the ~ 1,000,000 pregnancies terminated every year here). However, when one looks overseas, the story is exactly the opposite. I found a statistic stating that only one in ten Russian orphans will ever be adopted. Similarly, there are thousands of children in China (mostly girls), Guatemala (mostly boys), Korea, and other countries who are waiting for families. We prayed about this and decided on Russia – the timeline is fast (more on that later) and we could adopt a fairly young child. This is particularly true for the region of Russia we have chosen, which is part of Siberia. We also think it will be very interesting to travel to Russia and experience the culture our child has experienced for his or her early life.
3. How did you select an adoption agency?
We registered on the websites of several agencies to get more information. We became familiar with the basic process and costs, so just needed to figure out the next step. Then one day we received an email from a specific agency (we are asked not to discuss agencies by name on the web) describing the particular need for people to adopt children from parts of Siberia in Russia. The process seems to be more streamlined than some other regions, and the children tend to be healthier than in some other parts of Russia. We looked through the pictures in the email of children who’d recently been adopted, and (of course!) they were so adorable that we were sold! We also like the organization – while they are not officially a Christian organization, the ideas of “having faith” and “being faithful” are prominent in their mission. The online message board for parents like us is full of encouragement from the Bible as we all wind our way through this process. There are so many great Biblical examples of prayerful waiting…and that is what we are trying to do.
4. How old will the baby be?
Babies in Russia are not considered officially “orphans” until they have been in the orphanage system for at least 6 months. Combining this waiting period with bureaucracy, the youngest are usually 12-18 months when they are adopted. The most recent adoption I know of (by a couple working with the same agency as us, adopting from the same region) involves a baby who was 11 months old when the adoptive parents went to meet him, and will be 13-14 months old when they bring him home.
5. When do you go to Russia?
We will need to make two trips to Siberia. On the first trip, we will get to meet the baby that has been selected for us and (prayerfully!) confirm that we want to proceed with adoption of that baby. If for some reason we feel wrong about the particular match that has been made, we will have an opportunity to meet a different child. We will leave (after about a week) knowing the child we will adopt…but we don’t get to bring them home yet. At this point, the adoption enters deeper into the legal system and we wait for a court date, hopefully within one-two months, at which time we will go back and legally adopt our baby in Russia and stay for about two weeks. We hope to make the first trip in May or June, but it will depend upon the speed of bureaucracy in our region in dealing with our application. If we get to go by June, then we would expect to make our second trip by the end of the summer! (However, there are many places in which the process can be delayed so we are trying to be flexible.)
6. Have you been “accepted” to adopt a child?
Yes! We are not waiting to hear whether we will adopt, but simply which child we will adopt. We have been approved through background checks and a careful study of our home life (a 5-hour interview!).
7. Will your child be a U.S. citizen?
Yes. We will need to fill out some paperwork, but they will certainly be a U.S. citizen. Some Canadian friends have also told us that our baby will automatically be a citizen of Canada as well, since Rob is Canadian – hopefully that is the case, since it would great for our child to have dual citizenship. We still need to look into this.
8. Is there a chance you will come back with more than one child?
Not really – all of our documentation is set up for one child only. I am sure it will be hard to leave the rest of the children behind in the orphanage, but realistically it makes sense for us to start our family with just one child, particularly since it is our first child and neither of us plans to stay home full-time. Instead, we plan to stagger our work schedules and get some part-time help with child care in our home. I will be doing a lot of work from home in the Fall semester, as I do not have teaching responsibilities but instead will be focusing on research projects. I will still spend a few days each week at UF and plan to stay fully connected with my work as a professor there. I will be teaching again next Spring. We both love our jobs, and our colleagues have demonstrated a lot of support and flexibility already. We feel so blessed!
We're happy to answer other questions too! We'll be using this blog to keep you updated, answer questions, and reflect on this fascinating experience.
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