It's been a few weeks since I posted something, so I thought it was about time for a new one.
There is no news from Russia, but happily this is only something I check on a couple of times a week, instead of every day. Still no agencies have been reaccredited. If we were still planning to travel ASAP, I can't imagine how stressed I would be right now. Rob's idea of delaying our first trip until the spring was definitely the right thing to do. I have been more productive at work, more enthusiastic about the conferences I'll be attending (rather than worried that I might have to cancel at the last minute to leave for Russia), and a much less stressed-out person.
This month I am presenting in two conferences: one in Madison (my grad school hometown) and one in Charleston, SC (Rob might come with me for that one). They should both be productive and also great fun - I am planning to connect with friends at both conferences for meals, etc. As if that weren't enough travel for one month, we also decided to go ahead and plan something crazy and exciting for this time before the baby arrives: for Thanksgiving, both Rob's and my parents are joining us in Florida for a 4-day cruise!!! I can hardly wait! Most of you know how thrifty (OK, cheap) we are, so this is a real adventure for us. (Of course, we got the tickets for less than half price...but you already knew that....). Our two sets of parents haven't seen each other since our wedding over 6 years ago, so we are excited to all hang out together.
Last weekend, we made a bit of progress on the baby's room - we installed new closet doors. the old ones were completely mirrored. Not only might that scare our poor kid, but I wasn't a big fan either! So we got some nice plain white doors with a very basic design. It looks great!
I'll close up with a reminder to please pray for our little one in Siberia. Earlier this month we were in Canada with Rob's family and got to see some of his cousins who have a 20-month old (Jake) and newborn (Mitchell). It was really wonderful to see them, and especially to meet little Mitchell! But it was a little bittersweet knowing that we can't take care of our own child right now the way these parents (and grandparents, and aunts, and uncles, and cousins) can take care of him. Our child is most likely between the ages of these two cuties, and there are two more kids on that side of the family who are slightly older, so he/she will have lots of cousins to play with.....just can't wait until he/she can actually come home and DO that! Until then, we're praying that our baby is experiencing attentive care from the orphanage staff, enough food to eat, and at least a few hugs along the way. We'd sure like to send some!
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
There is Finally a Plan
It has been a rough couple of weeks trying to figure out whether we should keep waiting with our agency or switch to another where things are moving forward.
Over the weekend, we had decided to switch...but then some feedback from our current agency gave us some hope that things might begin moving before too long. Meanwhile, the new agency that we really liked had some hoops we needed to jump through in terms of some new paperwork, a 2-hour interview, and an educational requirement (involving reading books/watching videos on adoption). We sent them a preliminary application but were still unsure.
The decision we made today - to stay with our agency - actually rests on Rob's very thoughtful but persistent suggestion of an idea I initially did not like. He pointed out that with the new agency, our best case scenario would be bringing home a child in January (maybe February). At that point, I would have needed others to cover my classes for the trip and I would be returning to the work of teaching my two classes immediately upon our return. I’d also have a toddler running around (or at least learning to walk) who is confused and can’t understand most of what I say to him/her – and it is really important to be proactive about “attachment” when adopting a child at this age. Though Rob would also stay home part time, I think he realized that he'd have two people to take care of: a new child and a frazzled wife. He suggested that it might be in the best interest of all of us - especially the child - if we could delay by a few months and bring our child home early in the summer. I will not have any work responsibilities until Fall, so could concentrate on bonding with our little one and visiting family. Ironically, this was exactly the plan when we first started (to bring home our child in the summer). So we asked our current agency whether we could intentionally hold back our paperwork in order to do our first trip in the Spring, even if they become reaccredited before that. They said we could certainly do that.
So then we just had to decide whether we wanted to do this. My initial reaction was "I want a baby YESTERDAY! I'd be nuts to wait longer than I have to". Later on, I started doing the math....the difference will just be a few months compared to starting with the new agency, and the costs of starting over are high. And then a couple of people independently suggested this option, not knowing that we were considering it. You know, it made sense. Rob is a smart guy. One thing I love about this idea is that we have some control over timing, so we don't need to worry whether our agency gets reaccredited this month or next month or even the month after. (There are agencies who have met with the Russian officials about the delays, and it sounds like they are gradually getting things resolved -- so we really don't expect our agency to remain unaccredited into next year.) My daily following of all the Russian adoption news can fall back to a calm, weekly check on what's going on. We will leave our paperwork where it is, in Russia with our facilitator, and it will be up to us to decide when we want it submitted -- travel dates are usually given within weeks of submission. We will still likely travel without having been assigned a specific child in advance.
Phew! Sorry for the long entry. It's been an eventful time for us. But it will now be followed by some peace about this and no frenzied switch or hyperactive websurfing for Russian news. I'm hoping we can even do a little vacation at some point over the next 6 months before life changes drastically :)
Over the weekend, we had decided to switch...but then some feedback from our current agency gave us some hope that things might begin moving before too long. Meanwhile, the new agency that we really liked had some hoops we needed to jump through in terms of some new paperwork, a 2-hour interview, and an educational requirement (involving reading books/watching videos on adoption). We sent them a preliminary application but were still unsure.
The decision we made today - to stay with our agency - actually rests on Rob's very thoughtful but persistent suggestion of an idea I initially did not like. He pointed out that with the new agency, our best case scenario would be bringing home a child in January (maybe February). At that point, I would have needed others to cover my classes for the trip and I would be returning to the work of teaching my two classes immediately upon our return. I’d also have a toddler running around (or at least learning to walk) who is confused and can’t understand most of what I say to him/her – and it is really important to be proactive about “attachment” when adopting a child at this age. Though Rob would also stay home part time, I think he realized that he'd have two people to take care of: a new child and a frazzled wife. He suggested that it might be in the best interest of all of us - especially the child - if we could delay by a few months and bring our child home early in the summer. I will not have any work responsibilities until Fall, so could concentrate on bonding with our little one and visiting family. Ironically, this was exactly the plan when we first started (to bring home our child in the summer). So we asked our current agency whether we could intentionally hold back our paperwork in order to do our first trip in the Spring, even if they become reaccredited before that. They said we could certainly do that.
So then we just had to decide whether we wanted to do this. My initial reaction was "I want a baby YESTERDAY! I'd be nuts to wait longer than I have to". Later on, I started doing the math....the difference will just be a few months compared to starting with the new agency, and the costs of starting over are high. And then a couple of people independently suggested this option, not knowing that we were considering it. You know, it made sense. Rob is a smart guy. One thing I love about this idea is that we have some control over timing, so we don't need to worry whether our agency gets reaccredited this month or next month or even the month after. (There are agencies who have met with the Russian officials about the delays, and it sounds like they are gradually getting things resolved -- so we really don't expect our agency to remain unaccredited into next year.) My daily following of all the Russian adoption news can fall back to a calm, weekly check on what's going on. We will leave our paperwork where it is, in Russia with our facilitator, and it will be up to us to decide when we want it submitted -- travel dates are usually given within weeks of submission. We will still likely travel without having been assigned a specific child in advance.
Phew! Sorry for the long entry. It's been an eventful time for us. But it will now be followed by some peace about this and no frenzied switch or hyperactive websurfing for Russian news. I'm hoping we can even do a little vacation at some point over the next 6 months before life changes drastically :)
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