the penultimate post!

Rob recently pointed out that this blog keeps track of how many posts I have made. There have been 98 so far. We've decided that it would be perfect for us to end the blog at 100 posts and replace it with a regular baby blog about daily life with Meredith, since the "Hamersma Adoption" will be complete!

That means I've got this post, and then one more after we get home to let you know that we got there safely.

I want to use this post for something important, and that is to provide a couple of links to our family and friends regarding the transition that Meredith is making into our family. In the psychology literature this is called "attachment" and for most babies it is a natural process in which they learn very early on that their parents will always meet their needs. This allows for healthy brain development - especially emotional development. They learn that there are a couple of particular people who are "theirs" and it allows them to feel safe as they make discoveries in their world. When a child hasn't had this experience early on with her parents (or any parents) she usually has some catching up to do, which can mean that adoptive parents need to provide a more intense nurturing experience than might be typical of a child her age and need to be somewhat "jealous" of her attention. It can appear to others like spoiling or coddling, but it's an essential step in building those bonds that every parent and child need to have.

Rob and I found a nice website with some helpful ideas and info for friends and family related to attachment. We hope that Meredith will have a smooth path of bonding with us and won't run into the problems that this website in some ways anticipates - but that is really the key: anticipation. We want to make wise decisions early to prevent later regrets. This will mean things like carrying her around, feeding her, diapering her, and comforting her when she's crying need to be exclusive Mommy and Daddy territory (sorry for all of those longing to change a diaper). The most helpful seem to be these two pages:

Sample Letter to Friends and Family

Dos and Don'ts for Friends and Family

There are other interesting links in the left panel on the website if you find yourself fascinated. We haven't checked them all out but the site seems pretty good and corresponds to the more detailed reading we have done on this topic.

We can't wait to leave tomorrow for home! Please pray for a safe and peaceful (?) journey for us on the long flight from Moscow to Atlanta and the shorter one from there to Gainesville. We'll post again when we are home and awake (in other words, not right away!).