There is Finally a Plan

It has been a rough couple of weeks trying to figure out whether we should keep waiting with our agency or switch to another where things are moving forward.

Over the weekend, we had decided to switch...but then some feedback from our current agency gave us some hope that things might begin moving before too long. Meanwhile, the new agency that we really liked had some hoops we needed to jump through in terms of some new paperwork, a 2-hour interview, and an educational requirement (involving reading books/watching videos on adoption). We sent them a preliminary application but were still unsure.

The decision we made today - to stay with our agency - actually rests on Rob's very thoughtful but persistent suggestion of an idea I initially did not like. He pointed out that with the new agency, our best case scenario would be bringing home a child in January (maybe February). At that point, I would have needed others to cover my classes for the trip and I would be returning to the work of teaching my two classes immediately upon our return. I’d also have a toddler running around (or at least learning to walk) who is confused and can’t understand most of what I say to him/her – and it is really important to be proactive about “attachment” when adopting a child at this age. Though Rob would also stay home part time, I think he realized that he'd have two people to take care of: a new child and a frazzled wife. He suggested that it might be in the best interest of all of us - especially the child - if we could delay by a few months and bring our child home early in the summer. I will not have any work responsibilities until Fall, so could concentrate on bonding with our little one and visiting family. Ironically, this was exactly the plan when we first started (to bring home our child in the summer). So we asked our current agency whether we could intentionally hold back our paperwork in order to do our first trip in the Spring, even if they become reaccredited before that. They said we could certainly do that.

So then we just had to decide whether we wanted to do this. My initial reaction was "I want a baby YESTERDAY! I'd be nuts to wait longer than I have to". Later on, I started doing the math....the difference will just be a few months compared to starting with the new agency, and the costs of starting over are high. And then a couple of people independently suggested this option, not knowing that we were considering it. You know, it made sense. Rob is a smart guy. One thing I love about this idea is that we have some control over timing, so we don't need to worry whether our agency gets reaccredited this month or next month or even the month after. (There are agencies who have met with the Russian officials about the delays, and it sounds like they are gradually getting things resolved -- so we really don't expect our agency to remain unaccredited into next year.) My daily following of all the Russian adoption news can fall back to a calm, weekly check on what's going on. We will leave our paperwork where it is, in Russia with our facilitator, and it will be up to us to decide when we want it submitted -- travel dates are usually given within weeks of submission. We will still likely travel without having been assigned a specific child in advance.

Phew! Sorry for the long entry. It's been an eventful time for us. But it will now be followed by some peace about this and no frenzied switch or hyperactive websurfing for Russian news. I'm hoping we can even do a little vacation at some point over the next 6 months before life changes drastically :)